Who Am I Now?
Rediscovering Yourself After Years of Motherhood
Let’s be honest, when you’ve spent years (or even decades) putting your children first, it’s easy to lose sight of the woman you were before motherhood took centre stage. For me, I’ve been a mother my entire adult life. I became a mum at 19, so I barely even knew who I was before children. Maybe you feel the same way, like your identity has always been wrapped up in caring for others, and now you’re left wondering who you are outside of that role.
It’s a strange mix of emotions, isn’t it? There’s so much pride and gratitude for the years spent nurturing, guiding, and loving your kids. But now, as your children grow more independent, you might find yourself with a little more space and a lot of questions. Who am I, really? What do I love? What do I want for myself, now that my days aren’t quite so full of everyone else’s needs?
If you’re standing at this crossroads, you’re not alone. So many women reach this point and realise they’ve been so busy meeting everyone else’s needs that their own have been quietly waiting in the wings. It can feel both exciting and a little unsettling to suddenly have the freedom to focus on yourself.
But here’s the good news: this isn’t an ending, it’s actually a new beginning. It’s an opportunity to get to know yourself in a whole new way, maybe for the very first time. And while the idea of rediscovering who you are might feel daunting, it’s also a chance to dream, explore, and grow.
So, where do you start? Here are some gentle steps to help you begin rediscovering your authentic self:
Steps to Rediscovering Your Authentic Self
1. Reflect on Your Journey
Take a moment to really acknowledge everything you’ve done. Parenting is a marathon, not a sprint, and let’s be real, none of us handled every step with perfect patience or grace. But through all the ups and downs, you’ve shown real strength, love, and a willingness to keep going. Think about the qualities you’ve developed along the way, resilience, empathy, creativity (and maybe a sense of humour, too) and how they make you uniquely you.
2. Reconnect with Your Passions
What did you love before life got so busy? Maybe you used to lose yourself in painting, running, reading, or planning your next adventure. Or maybe you’ve always wanted to try something completely new, like learning a language, taking up photography, or even exploring the idea of starting your own business.
Give yourself permission to be curious. You don’t need to commit to anything huge right away; just dipping your toe back into something that sparks your interest, even for a few minutes a week can be incredibly energising. Sometimes, trying something new opens doors you never expected. If there’s a business idea or a creative project that’s been quietly tugging at your sleeve, this could be the perfect time to see where it leads.
3. Give Yourself Permission to Change
You’re not the same woman you were before motherhood, and honestly, that’s something to celebrate. Your priorities, dreams, and even your sense of fun may have shifted over the years. Maybe what excites you now is different from what lit you up in your twenties, and that’s okay. I know my idea of fun has changed over the years. I used to be a real extrovert, being out, sipping cocktails in a swanky bar, surrounded by fun-loving party animals was my idea of a perfect night. These days, it’s a lot more introverted. Now, what fills me up is being surrounded by my nearest and dearest, sharing stories, laughter, and genuine connection.
Let yourself evolve. It’s perfectly fine if you want to learn a new skill, change careers, or even launch a business that fits who you are today. Growth isn’t just allowed it’s necessary. Give yourself the space to grow in new directions, without feeling like you have to stick to the “old” version of you. Your happiness gets to evolve, just like you do.
And as for worrying about other people’s opinions? Remember, this is your journey, not theirs. People might be surprised or even have something to say when you try something new, but that’s okay. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for wanting more, or for choosing to become the truest, happiest version of yourself. Trust your instincts, follow your curiosity, and know that the only approval you really need is your own.
4. Set New Intentions
Take a moment to ask yourself: What do I want this next chapter to look like? What would I love to have more of in my life? And what am I ready to let go of?
Write it down, make a vision board, or talk it through with a friend who supports your dreams. Maybe you want to carve out time for creativity, invest in personal development, or finally take the leap and start that business you’ve been thinking about. Naming your desires, no matter how big or small, is the first step toward making them real. Your dreams deserve a place in your life, too.
5. Find Your Support System
Rediscovering yourself is so much easier (and more fun) when you have people cheering you on. Surround yourself with those who encourage your growth… 'your ‘Tribe’. Whether it’s old friends who know your history, new connections who inspire you, a coach who can guide and support you, or a supportive community of like-minded women.
If you’re thinking about learning something new or starting a business, look for groups, workshops, or online communities where you can share ideas and get real support. Having others who “get it” can make all the difference as you step into this new chapter.
Embracing Your Next Chapter
You don’t need to have it all figured out straight away… honestly, most of us don’t. Rediscovering who you are is a process, and it’s important to take it one step at a time. Be kind to yourself, stay open to new experiences, and remember to celebrate even the tiniest wins along the way.
You’ve spent years nurturing others. Now, it’s your turn.
If you’re ready to start finding “YOU” again, I’ve put together a free set of journal prompts just for women like us, designed to help you reconnect with what makes you, you, and to help you dream up what comes next.
